Paano manligaw ang lalake sa babaeng Pilipina noon? Courtship in Pre-colonial history, Spanish period Philippines,

Precious Gomez
is a Nurse in the Philippines

Ang pag-aasawa noong uang panahon ay hindi madali dahil maraming pagsubok ang dadaaanan ng lalaki sa panliligaw. May mga ugali noon na hanggang ngayon ay ginagawa pa din ng ibang mga Pilipino, karamihan sa kanila ay nakatira sa mga malalayong lugar o liblib na mga lugar. Ang binatang manliligaw ay pagsisilbihan muna ang pamilya ng babae sa loob ng buwan at minsan umaabot pa ng taon. Sa panahon natin ngayon ito ay mahirap gawin, ngunit noong dating panahon handang magtiis ang lalaki alang-alang sa babaeng minamahal. Madalas ang gawain ng lalaking manliligaw ay nagsisibak ng kahoy, nag iigib ng tubig at minsan ay utusan ng magulang ng babae. Hindi pinahihintulutang mag-usap ang lalaki sa babaeng nililigawan. Hanggang tingin lamang ang pwede niyang gawin. Ni hindi binibigyan ng pag kakataong lumapit at mag-usap ang dalawa. Mahigpit itong binabantayan ng mga magulang ng babae. Takot na baka masalisihan sila ng lalaking mabilis pa sa kidlat ika nga.

Matapos ang mahabang paninilbihan, sasabihin ng mga magulang ng babae ang pagsang-ayon. Ngunit may mga kundisyon silang inihahain. Required na mag bigay ng bigay-kaya o dote ang lalaki sa magulang ng babae. Ang mga bigay-kaya ay kagaya ng lupa, ginto, pera o anumang bagay na mamahalin. Ito ay kabayaran sa magulang ng dalaga sa pag pupuyat at hirap na ginawa nila ng sanggol pa lamang ang dalaga. Magbibigay din ang binata sa yayang nag alaga sa dalaga ng bata pa ito at higit sa lahat sa ina na nagpasuso ng sanggol pa ang dalaga.

Ang lahat na ito’y inaayos ng magulang ng babae sa magulang ng binata. Kapag hindi kaya ng magulang ng lalaki ang hinihingi ng magulang ng dalaga, nakikipagtawaran ang mga ito, hanggang sa pumayag ang magulang ng babae. Tinatawag itong pamumulungan o pamamalae. Kapag naayos na ang lahat, kasal naman ang kanilang pag-uusapan.

May mga kaugalian ang mga Pilipino na mag papakasal sila sa kanilang kauri o kapareho ng estado sa buhay. Ang ganitong kaugalian ay hindi mahigpit na pinatutupad. Malayang mag hanap ang isang datu ng karaniwang tao basta maibigan niya lamang. Isa sa mga batas dati na kanilang namulatan at nakaugalian, ay ang mga anak ng asawa ang siyang tunay o lehitimo. Samantala ang anak sa labas ay hindi tunay kaya’t hindi pwede mag mana ng ari-arian sa kanilang ama.

Understanding who we are is probably one of life’s largest questions. Some may think traditions are old and no longer relevant, and that they are unnecessary during these modern times. However, exploring cultural heritage offers a robust variety of benefits.

When all is said and done, who are you, if you don’t know anything about where you come from, about your origins, your family, your language, your own culture? In certain instances, when others try to assimilate us or when we integrate too much into mainstream society we lose these unique elements. We should be open to learning about these elements of our identity.

Culture can give people a connection to certain social values, beliefs, religions and customs. It allows people to identify with others of similar mind sets and backgrounds. Cultural heritage can provide an automatic sense of unity and belonging within a group and allows us to better understand previous generations and the history of where we come from.

When you're working in an international environment, you need to make a real effort to understand the cultural backgrounds, beliefs and attitudes of the people around you. If you do not, you would likely struggle to get things done and work well with others. Thus, self-reflection is important to the cross-cultural learning process. Without understanding that everyone has a culture, and that knowledge of one’s own culture is crucial, we have a tendency to reduce learning about culture to a manual-based approach, applying lists of dos and don’ts too rigidly and in the process stereotyping. Self-reflection begins with gaining knowledge about dimensions of culture and learning to apply these informed generalizations to our own culture. We thus develop a baseline for making effective comparisons about cultural differences and understand better why we respond in different situations the way we do.

Therefore, we develop our self-esteem and identity within a particular cultural context. In other words, without a clear cultural identity, we would experience confusion and isolation.

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About the author

Precious Gomez

I am knowledgeable in the use of computer and online apps. I've done freelance article writing for more than 5 years. I am hard working. I still have a lot of things to learn and very open for training and guidance. Thank you so much for viewing my profile.
Profession: Nurse
Philippines , National Capital Region , Pasig


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